


hello

by Mickeyokaela



Category: Supernatural, destiel - Fandom
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Based on an Adele Song, M/M, Purgatory, Sad, Sad Ending, Season 8, Song fic, hello
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2016-01-17
Packaged: 2018-05-14 11:24:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5741920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mickeyokaela/pseuds/Mickeyokaela
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>song fic based off hello by Adele.</p>
<p>basically Dean's back from purgatory without Cas and he's not coping so well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	hello

**Author's Note:**

> so this is my first fanfic/song fic but I hope you like it.  
> I also wrote this awhile ago so I'm sorry if it sucks.  
> (I also have no idea how to put things in bold on here so if someone could tell me that would be great. thank you)

Hello, it’s me  
I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to meet  
To go over everything   
They say that time’s supposed to heal ya,   
But I ain’t done much healing

My body shakes as I lift the bottle of vodka to my mouth, taking a mouthful and flinching when the alcohol burns my throat. Another sob leaves my mouth as tears fall down my face and I think over the situation I’m in. 

Hello, can you hear me?  
I’m just at a house dreaming about who we used to be  
When we were younger and free  
I’ve forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet

The last time I saw him runs through my head like a broken record as I sit in my impala. I take another swing of my drink before hitting the steering wheel. Drinking has always helped: helped me forget my problem, so why now? Why isn’t it working now? Why can I still see his broken blue eyes?   
I run a bruised hand through my light brown hair and think about his shattered expression as I went through that portal without him.

There’s such a difference between us and a million miles 

He’s still there: Castiel, innocent Cas, poor innocent broken Cas, broken angel, my broken angel. I hit the steering wheel again as sobs take over my body and his blue eyes take over my eyes.  
I should’ve tried harder! I should have gotten him out of there! Now my Cas, my angel is trapped in purgatory while I sit here in my Impala drinking vodka on earth while my brother sleeps in our hotel room. He’s trapped there fighting monsters all alone while I sit here pissed drunk crying like a girl. 

Hello from the other side  
I must’ve called a thousand times  
To tell you I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done  
But when in call you never seem to be home

I think I’ve prayed to him a thousand and one times but I never get an answer, just silence. I know he can’t hear me, he’s never gonna hear me again and I’ll never be able to hear his sweet voice again but that doesn’t stop me. It doesn’t stop Sam reassuring me that maybe, maybe next time he’ll answer. Or the small flicker of home I get whenever I see a man in a trench-coat but it’s never him, it’ll never be him.   
It can never be him because I failed him, I left him there! I left him in purgatory. Now I’ll never see him again because Dean Winchester failed the love of his life, his broken angel. 

Hello from the outside  
At least I can say that I’ve tried   
To tell you I’m sorry for breaking your heart  
But it don’t matter, it clearly doesn’t tear you apart  
Anymore 

I sallow the remainder of liquid in the bottle before throwing it out the window and watching it smash when it collided with the ground.   
Cas’ face when the portal closed runs through my head as I sit staring blanking into nothing. I tried, I tried so hard to save him but I lost him. At the last moment his hand slip and now here there and I’m here! We’re literally worlds and I never got to tell him how I felt.   
He knew, I’m sure he knew, he had to know from the way I looked at him and could hardly take my eyes away. How could he not? But how could he know if I never spoke the words? 

Hello, how are you?  
It’s so typical of me to talk about myself,  
I’m sorry  
I hope that you’re well  
Did you ever make it out of that town  
Where nothing ever happens?

What is he’s hurt? What if he’s dead? More tears roll down my face as I realise the hard truth; id never know if he were dead.  
But what was I expecting? I’m a hunter, he’s an angel, and we don’t have normal lives. We’d never be able to have a ‘white picket fence’ life, because this ain’t a job it’s a life style. We’d always be running from something, whether it’d be monsters or heaven. 

It’s no secret that the both of us  
Are running out of time

 

Maybe he’s better off dead, god knows I am. The life of a hunter’s is a burden on all those who wear it. Drinking problems, insanity, loss and the majority of us dying before forty, just a basic life of a hunter, But the worst is love! You don’t need a pill, you don’t need a gun, if you ever wanna die fall in love a you’ll get killed. 

Hello from the other side  
I must’ve called a thousand times  
To tell you I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done  
But when I call   
You never seem to be home

I push my hand through my hair again, my fingers clutching the hair and the back of my neck as silent tears refuse to stop falling. I’m not going to hide my emotions behind a bottle this time; I’ll wear them on my sleeve. I’ll work harder, hunt harder, protect Sam in the way I failed to protect Cas.

Hello from the outside   
At least I can say that I’ve tried  
To tell you  
I’m sorry for breaking your heart  
But it don’t matter, it clearly doesn’t tear you apart

I open the car don’t and step out of the impala, tears still falling down my face. I make my way to my hotel room and open the door to find Sam already asleep, I hazily make my way to my bed and flop down. I stare at the roof and send another hopeless pray out.

Hello from the other side  
I must’ve called a thousand times  
To tell you  
I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done  
But when I call you never seem to be home

Hey Cas, it’s me,  
I know you probably can’t hear me but I need to tell you.  
I need to say that I’m sorry, I’m sorry I left you there! I’m sorry that you’re probably dead and that I can’t save you.  
I’m also sorry that I never told you how I really felt, I love you Castiel of the lord. I don’t know when I started loving you, maybe I’ve loved you since I’ve meet you, I don’t know. All I know is that I love and I’m always gonna love, until the day I die, which will probably be soon, knowing the family business.  
I love you Cas and if you can hear this please answer me, please come back to me.

Hello from the outside  
At least I can say that I’ve tried   
To tell you  
I’m sorry for breaking your heart  
But it don’t matter, it clearly doesn’t tear you apart   
Anymore

Like always I get no answer, I knew I would but I had to try, I’ll always try but it will never work I know. Because I lost him! I lost him when the postal shut and it sealed worlds between us.


End file.
